Tuesday 30 April 2024

HERE I GO AGAIN

 

I FALL ALL OVER AGAIN

By Dan Hill

Can't believe we met like this
Is it just coincidence?
I had a feeling I'd be seeing you again
You're every bit as beautiful
As the last time we met
When you told me you were leaving
And going back to him

How I wish that I could tell you
It's all in the past
But I was never good at lying
And baby since you ask

Chorus

I don't wanna hear that song again
From the night we first met
I don't wanna hear you whispering
Things I'd rather forget
I don't wanna look into your eyes
'Cause you know what happens next
We'll be making love and then
I'll fall all over again

I can't begin to tell you
Just how, sorry I am
That the man you built your dreams around
Just broke your heart again
I think I know the feeling
'Cause I once loved you so much
That I swore I'd rather die
Then live a day without your touch

If I held you in my arms
You'll know I'll never let you go
But this ain't the time or place
To get emotional

Chorus

I don't wanna hear that song again
From the night we first met
I don't wanna hear you whispering
Things I'd rather forget
I don't wanna look into your eyes
'Cause you know what happens next
We'll be making love and then
I'll fall all over again

How you cried when you kissed me
Then you walked out that door, whoa
You were always such a mystery
I still dream we're making love
Then I stop myself because

Chorus

I don't wanna hear that song again
From the night we first met
I don't wanna hear you whispering
Things I'd rather forget
I don't wanna look into your eyes
'Cause you know what happens next
We'll be making love and then
I'll fall all over again

I'll fall all over again

 

I think the words of Dan Hill in the song above are finding expression in my life. Yeah, so I met someone recently and it has been the happiest few weeks of my life. She is the rarest combination of beauty and brain I have come across in a very long time, and boy she's got class and zazz!!! And you know how you are both scared and excited at the same time? Yeah that's how I feel about her. 

You are probably wondering why I have such mixed feelings right? I am tempted to wonder too, but I know the answer.


 I am sure you remember that I have had my share of broken relationships, most of which I was hugely invested, so I guess my anxiety is what you would call occupational hazards abi? It comes with the turf. A child who was told that a rope-like animal killed his father will be afraid of earthworms. In this case, I am the child.

 I am excited on another hand. As a matter of fact I am elated beyond words, and it is difficult to describe the feeling. This is not some high school butterfly feelings in my stomach, there is a sense of calmness and joy that thinking about her gives to me and the desire to protect her. Cut to the chase I am jealous and want her for keeps! Does that make any sense to you? Maybe not but it does to me. So...?


 I am still in awe of how her stories not only mirror mine but fits into my prayers of many years, and I am praying that my hopes are not eventually a mirage. I know the difference between love and lust as I have felt both, this feels like both wrapped in a lifetime commitment. And I love this feeling!!!

Her dreams and aspirations are worth every bit of my encouragement and I am hoping I get to do that for her; she is a jackpot! trust me when I tell you so.


 Well, I cannot tell you her name now but trust me, I am not walking away from this woman. I would give you a hint someday...... but for now, please allow me to hide her face. LOL!



Agebe Olonta Eineje
27th June 2020

MY THOUGHTS ON FAILURE

               

Failure is not the worst thing that could happen to a man. Your refusal to get up is worse than the misfortune of falling. 

All men fall and have fallen at some point in life. While some made their beds on the grounds they have stumbled, others made bricks from the earth upon which they had fallen and built mansions for themselves. 

It is difficult to convince a man who has lost hope to believe, it is nonetheless the best thing you can offer him. There is a natural tendency in man to want to preserve himself before anything else, and so we chose the path that is easiest to trod. And this applies to every one of us. Knowing that we are all susceptible to failure, condemning those who have failed will not be the wisest thing to do even if you have not experienced it. 

However, we cannot also celebrate those who have given up on trying just because we are fallible as everyone else. So, while it is good for others to extend hands of help when you are down in the gutters of life, the onus lie on you the most to lift yourself up and out. 


The idea that people must help you as if they owe you does not and will not help you in any way. It is your life we are talking about here. The decision to live or not is yours to make. More over you are the person living the life. If you succeed or fail at it, you will ultimately reap the benefits either way it turns. It was Soichiro Honda (the founder of Honda Automobiles) who said; if you believe you can or cannot, you are right. Think about it. 


Do not get me wrong, we all need a little help from time to time. I have always said; no one is self made. The richest man in the world was helped. Notwithstanding, do not go about demanding that people help you. It is the prerogative of the helper to offer help or not. So do not live your life expecting that any one is under some obligation to help you. As a matter of fact, living without such expectations is less burdensome. You suffer from less anxiety and tendency to hate or to be bitter. 

And if you are in a position to help, please do. We live in a time when people are fast losing faith in humanity. This is largely because of their experiences in the hands of other humans, especially people they have trusted at some point in life. My people would say; the reason a poor man builds his house close to the rich man' is so that the light from the rich man's compound can shine onto his. That is not the case today, because the rich man's fence is so high it blocks out the light. 


The increasing insecurity, heightened corruption, hatred, widening gap between social class etc can be traced to; man's inhumanity to man. It's appalling to even imagine that a man would consider himself better or higher than another simply on the basis of tribe, race or nation. These are not strange occurrences in our present world, we live with and experience it everyday. If we need to change the cataclysmic direction we are headed, we need to calibrate our hearts. 

We will need to learn to stretch out our hands and hearts, to ask and to give. Do not hate those who does not help and do not refuse to help if you can do so. 


I wish you a wonderful July. Have a great day and month. It's past  1am already, yet I can't get sleep. I am resuming morning duty today and I need to get some rest before heading to work in about five hours. 

The good Lord continue to watch over all of us. Remember, help those who need your help if you can.



MUTATION

 

The road ahead is straight,
Passing through 'Brokenhopesville',
In auspiciously strait,
Shadowy deceptions,
No light shines through the roof of pines,
For here, the sun is blind.

Mama said, youth' are days of light,
But mine are blight,
Nights with no endings,
Bleak as it peaks.


In the heat of  the conundrums
Friends like wax melts,
And as fiends pick on my soul,
I wet my bed with tears,

Like an incursion I feel change,
Creeping in on me,
I guess this is what you call 'mutation'





GENTLE REFUSAL

 


Under the willow,
I laid my pillow,
and chose to caress the institution
of marriage,
I chose words with care,
Praying she would dare,
as I laid bare my heart.

With a smile, she nodded her head,
First giving me hope,
but it was hard to cope,
and was no soothing remarks either
as she gently said;
"Sorry I am taken".




3rd June 2007


RUDIMENTS OF LEADERSHIP

My Thoughts on Leadership Part 1

On this series, the goal is to share with you the various lessons I have learnt from serving others either from the rear as a follower or the head of the pack. The goal is to inspire you to become a better leader, or at the very least push you on to becoming one.

The strength of leadership rests very squarely on service. No one can become a good or great leader without the heart of service, and have not served another. Serving others does not only afford you the platform to meet the needs of people, it is a verifiable school and training institute that helps to build and hone skills necessary in leadership.

In my experience, many of the people who came into leadership via the highway of privilege almost always mess things up; this is the definite repercussion of the lack of training. And it is true that you cannot give what you do not have. The unfortunate and erroneous consequence of coming into leadership because of personal or family wealth, educational background, political connections etc. is that such people see it as a position that affords them authority over people and not as an avenue to serve others. Trust me, enlightened leadership is about service, not position.


From the beginning of time, positions of leadership are natural offspring of necessity in a group. Leaders are not elected or selected because it sounds good to do so; they are because there is a need for someone or some people to provide inspiration, education, correction, and direction etc. for the rest of the group. In the many instances where good leadership is sacrificed on the altar of mediocrity it is because this cardinal doctrine is missed. And the downside is that everyone suffers as a result.

Very often you see somewhat successful leaders get caught up in their pride and ego, because they need or want to portray a persona that is not necessary. They want to be seen as intelligent, clever, strong, powerful, as the boss or because they want to take all the glory for everything to themselves. These kinds of leaders will fail in the long run; they are in leadership for the wrong reasons. The motivating factor for them is always SELF. Good leaders do not struggle with others for the spotlight, because the center stage is not the reason they are in positions of authority. Great leaders are luminous; they give light to others to shine. In the place of service they are too busy fashioning out other great leaders than to struggle for a place at the table. As a matter of fact, they are the table in a sense.


A positional and ego driven leader is not huge on people skills, and they are poor listeners. They lack the ability to relate well with people and are very poor in understanding people even though they listen. People like this often listen to respond, not to know or learn. Consequently they are also locking in the ability to empathize. Sympathy is good, but empathy is what is more needed in a leader. The ability to sincerely put yourself in the shoes of others and to experience their pains sets leaders apart and connects people in ways you cannot imagine. There are few things that evoke complete loyalty like empathy.

Look around, do you have leaders who are egoistic and position driven? Then you need to evaluate yourself because you may already be picking up attributes that will do you more harm than good. As a leader, which of these categories of leader are you? If you need to make some changes, please do; a lot of people are looking up to you, probably many more people than you know.

I will stop here for now. Watch out for the other parts of this series. This is an introduction on a series on leadership and I implore you to take this journey with me. I am hoping that we will learn some things together. Kindly leave your comments below and we shall respond to them. Thank you.


RUDIMENTS OF LEADERSHIP PART 2

 

Good leadership cares about the future as much as it does about the present. 

This is not just in the sense of legacy building. I'm referring to one ensuring thoughtful, conscientious and deliberate protection of the future, to the extent that one invests in evolving achievable goals and structures, that will help to keep the organization alive and thriving long after one is are gone.

Part of the reason why leaders everywhere, but much more often in Africa, take unbelievable decisions and enact policies that are often highly appalling is because, in many cases, they do not have to live with the consequences of their actions.

Many of them are close to the grave anyway, and those who are not have stolen enough money to make them live like kings in other lands far from the hell they have helped to create. There are many more who lack the will; political, economic or the moral vertitude to do what they should, in most cases tied to the desire for self-preservation.

In many organizations where leadership is tenure based or time bound, leaders often make the mistake of counting the number of years, months, weeks or days they have left on the position instead of the level and quality of impact they have had on the people they have been privileged to work with. At the end of the day, it is the quality of your impact on your subordinates that ensures the growth or demise of the organization.

The assertion that a good name is better than wealth or that the memory of the just is blessed has been proven to be true many times over. Every historical figure we hear about today has a story tied to them, whether good or bad.

You know history can either celebrate you, vindicate you, embarrass you or repudiate you forever.

Ultimately the consequences of your actions will be felt by you or your children. I am sure you can remember a few people whose names evoke negative emotions from you or others around you today. Some of those people died long before you were born.

Let us do a quick exercise:

For a moment, pick a pen and sheet of paper and write down three names each of bad and good leaders at organizational or national levels. Which of these groups would you love to belong?

Most African and Caribbean Nations are being recolonized by China because of wrong economic policies over the many years they have been independent. Jamaica seems to be leading the pack from the Caribbean; South Africa in the southern hemisphere of the continent; Kenya, Nigeria and the list goes on.

In South Africa for example, Mandarin is an official school language now, meanwhile local languages like Zulu, Xhosa and others are not. How absurd!!

And to imagine that the the homeland of Bob Marley and Marcus Garvey will probably be the first Chinese colony is almost unthinkable. With the rate and level African leaders are conceding economic infrastructures to the Chinese, one will not be shocked if they decide to sell their citizens someday. The unfortunate part is, most of the monies they take as loans end in private pockets.

I am not trying to cast aspersion on all leaders, and certainly not on our founding fathers. Most of the men and women who fought for the independence of Africa from the grip of colonialism had good plans for the continent. Unfortunately many of those who came after them did not understand the vision or simply chose to pursue personal ideologies. Consequently, the gains and victory Africa won between the 1950's and 1960's have become Pyrrhic in a sense.

It is this same demon that bedevils our national life that haunts many of our organizations too. Primarily because they all exist in the same space and time. And so it is foolish to complain about how bad or lacking in vision African leaders are when the least of us do worse in other positions albeit a smaller one and with less responsibility.

The degree and import of faults may be different but underlying principles are the same; a fault is a fault irrespective of the person committing it. The name you call taking what does not belong to you may differ across board, but at the end of the day it is "stealing" and you are a thief, that is all that matters.

Successes that do not outlive the leader is not good success. I am not referring to successes that are by design momentary in nature. I am talking about structural and institutional progress that is expected to be handed down to coming generations. What is the use of starting a business, company, school, ministry etc that the next generation would not inherit?

Most businesses in this clime very rarely outlive their founder or owner. If you take a good look at them, they were not designed to live beyond the first generation as there is rarely a well laid out succession plan.

As a leader, take a moment to ask yourself; can I bequeath what I am doing now to the coming generation and expect it to last? If your answer is 'NO' then you need to make some changes.

I will outline five (5) things I believe every great leader must do to ensure continuity and preservation of purpose. This is not an exclusive list so you may add yours as we go along.

1. Express your convictions about your vision for the future

Write the vision and make it plain (understandable) upon tables that he may run that reads it. That was a directive given to the Prophet Habbakuk (2:2), emphasizing the importance of expressing ideas and visions.


What is not expressed cannot be impressed on the mind and impossible to convince others to see or achieve.

The reason why Habbakuk was asked to write the vision plainly on tables is so that people can understand it when they stop to read it. It will be useless if they stop to read yet do not understand what is written.

The practice of figuring out what to do as you go along is not good for any organization. There must be a clearly defined plan; a well-articulated vision and attainable goals for any organization to make progress.

Any organization and leadership that fails to plan has ultimately decided to fail. The vision and mission statement of any organization is so that it gives direction and guidance to efforts and inputs. You cannot afford to waste energy as one beating the air.

The leader must be able to communicate his convictions about the vision of the organization unambiguously. He cannot afford to leave people in doubt as to where he stands as far the future of the organization is concerned. The targets, trainings, business direction must align with the vision of the organization. A Petroleum exploration company would not be purchasing land for the farming of cassava as a core business area; neither will an electrical engineering firm send her engineers to a snail farming training when they have both not decided to diversify business operations. That would amount to waste of resources and misplaced priorities, and worst of all it leaves people in doubt as to the direction of the organization.

2. The leader must walk the talk.

Every message is believable so long as the carrier acts it out. It is said that, no matter how loud your message, it is your example that will be followed.

Most leaders fail to understand that beyond their lofty words, people watch their actions more, and as soon as your actions is not in sync with your words people will desert you some day, it is just a matter of time.

Immediately after graduating secondary school, I took a job in 1999 in a Print and Arts studio. My salary was Four Hundred Naira only back then.

My boss was acclaimed the best Lithographer in Benue State at the time and was very popular. He laid his rules and regulations before I and my colleague, and shared with us his grand plans for the company. He was high on integrity and commitment to duty. The unfortunate thing was; he was hardly ever available, largely because he was always running away from people who gave him jobs but he could not deliver owing to the fact that he had spent their monies on things other than the job they paid for. He owed me salary for the first three months of my working with him, so I resigned.

The company folded up eventually. He didn’t walk the talk.

3. A good leader is relevant and in tune with the time and season.

One of the banes of leadership in many organizations today is the stubborn refusal to step up, update thought patterns and modes of operation. The old ways may be good but for heaven's sake if the new ways have proven to be better, why not adopt them? What harm can such change possibly do? It has rather proven to be better and keeps you abreast with novel developments and more efficient ways of getting things done.

I once had a secretary in my old Department who was employed as a pool typist many years before I got there as a youth corps member. When computers replaced the typing machine he was converted to a secretary. Unfortunately, he did not improve his skills to match the times.

Though he was an excellent typist, he was a very poor computer operator, and he was almost irrelevant as far as the many other aspects of his position were concerned. No matter how skillful you are, if you cannot solve the current problems in your organization, you are a burden and not an asset, and no organization wants a liability in its flanks.

In the wake of the Corona virus pandemic, many organizations have resorted to e-documentation and tele-conferencing platforms and apps for exchange of information and meetings in order to avoid community transmission of the virus. It is surprising that in this 21st century, there are senior officers in some government parastatals who cannot use the Microsoft teams or the zoom app. These kinds of people will not last in more robust and business driven environments. Imagine someone like that managing a group of hot headed and passionate millennials. That would be a mix multitude and most likely an immiscible one.

One thing is sure; the leader may never earn the respect of his or her subordinates, consequently no control.

4. Good leaders delegate Authority.

This is one place that distinguishes between good and bad leaders. Delegation of authority does not only entail the transferring of responsibility for a task but also the distribution or release of authority or the amount of authority needed to effectively carry out the delegated task.

In other words, when a President delegates his vice or an Ambassador to represent anywhere in the world and for whatever purpose, the representative is allowed to exercise the authority necessary for the task at hand.

A good leader understands the import and power of delegation. He or she knows it offers him the opportunity to increase influence and build prodigies and committed followership.

Delegation is a good platform for training and correction. How else do you monitor the effectiveness of your training if you do not give your subordinates the opportunity to showcase what you have been teaching them? This is where delegation comes in.

Delegation is also a good opportunity to see what kind of leader you are and kind of leadership you have been providing. Your subordinates in most cases will display what they have learnt from you when they are given the opportunity to lead or act in your stead, with a dash of their personal styles of course. Sitting back and watching them gives you an idea as to whether you are doing well or not; It is a good chance at self-appraisal.

The multiplier effect of delegation cannot be over emphasized. In the Holy Book, after Jesus Christ was sure he had trained His disciples enough to send them forth; He commissioned them in twos and sent them to the world around them. Their testimonies when they returned showed they did what they had learnt from Him and did what would have taken him many weeks and a lot of travel time to do. One can chase a thousand, two will chase ten thousand. That is how far reaching the impact of delegation can go.

Leaders, who are afraid of delegation never grow beyond their immediate sphere and will eventually die small. 

One downside to such failure is that it breeds disgruntled subordinates and eventual fall outs. Leaders must learn to delegate real power and not just responsibility.

5. A good leader must learn to service loyalty and celebrate others.

Leaders must understand that "Loyalty is a consequence of good leadership, and leadership is a touchdown of competence". This is an absolute and irrefutable truth. Loyalty, like trust should be earned, and not demanded from subordinates else you would be standing on slippery slope. Any loyalty that can be bought is always available for the highest bidder and cannot be trusted. Good leaders should never 'buy' loyalty; they should rather earn it by consistency of character, competence, faithfulness and trustworthiness.

When a leader understands and is empathetic, people will follow him.

You really do not need to have it all. When a leader shows genuine love and concern for those looking up to him, people will gravitate towards him or her sincerely. Leaders should learn to live worthy of the title they bear.

When people are loyal to you, be quick to celebrate them. Do not hesitate to tell the world of their strengths and capabilities. Do not castigate them in public and celebrate them privately, as a matter of fact, to the best of your ability, celebrate them publicly and correct them privately. That is how you show that you genuinely respect them.

As a leader, you must also learn to share victuals with the people you are leading, as much as you are fast to share instructions. Be visible in their lives; do not only be available for the good days you need to be there in the bad ones too. Good leaders are North stars in the darkest nights; a leader who refuses to know your days of pains should not know your days of gains, he is not worth it.

Leaders must learn to appreciate the efforts of their subordinates, and give them credit whenever they perform well. There are leaders who are stingy with appreciation and some do not do it often or well enough.

Celebrating loyalty can be some form of material reward or a promotion and as a leader when you feel a subordinate deserve some form of reward, give it to him or her as soon as possible. This is because of the tendency for intentions of goodwill to change for many variant reasons ranging from future misdemeanor on the part of the subordinate to unavailability of the action party or some change in organizational policies. When you feel like it, do it.


INTREPID THOMAS

 


Eclipsed in emotional forfeitures;
dragon fires and an avalanche of diatribes.

Personality corruption and dysfunctional normality,

Could these be his sins or the signs he prayed for?

He lay writhing in pain,

while the few sat over pots of honeyed porridge.
He is familiar with lack and intrepid courage.

He strives to reach higher nonetheless. 

"Hold on!" "Be careful." To his ears,

they're rotten semantics and bad rhetoric.

And though he desires an end,

the curiosity to see what can still be, tugs harder.


Weeping is but for a time he remembers,

and after the storm will come the rain.

As surely as the night breaks into day,

every dark cloud, holds a silver lining.


This is the hope that keeps him trudging on.

This is the peace that passes human understanding.


©21/03/19







HOW COULD I?

 

How could I ever forget you?
How could I ever forget your name?
Lady with smile so bright,
Eyes that sparkles with life,
Voice that stirs up passions so past,
Presence so captivating,
Like an halo on a yellow night.

How could I ever forget you?
How could I ever forget your name?
Fair lady; beauty so ravishing,
Carriage so regal,
My dainty Dame, provoking stares 
Like stars,
MiLady who rides on the wings of the wind,
Please, if I may, 
Is it Alice or Lucille?



20th May 2007

RAPE OF MY SOUL

 


Like a sheep I was led to the slaughter,
While my captors enjoyed the laughter,
My innocence, the tool against my intelligence,
and life took a new form as my spirit
took wings and flew to strange lands.


Morals imprisoned in corrals,
purity no one cosset,
virginity no more an asset,
thrown to dogs are virtues of immeasurable value,
evolving dialects, attracting diatribes,
I am the victim.

My chastity was stolen
and my constancy sold for a token,
The moonless night became
My habitation,
As my soul is caught in this tribulation,
losing morale
'cos I am stuck in a morass of deception

May the gods look on me with pity,
For I am the victim.



31st May 2007


THE CHARACTER OF LEADERSHIP

 "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character."   - Martin Luther King, Jr.

To Martin Luther King, Jr. that was a dream at some point in time. To the rest of us however, the judgment of character is an everyday expectation in leadership. The importance of character in leadership cannot be overemphasized; as a matter of fact, there is no leadership without character.

Character forms the crux of the matter and is the real foundation of all worthwhile successes. The leader is nothing without the cardinal description of his personality which ultimately is his character. 

Every action a leader takes is a pointer to his or her character, whether he is aware of this or not. We must understand that while knowledge may give power, it is character that gives respect and loyalty. 

The definition of a man’s character is not hinged on periodic behaviours and goodwill but on the daily patterns of action, words and the retinue of nuances and attributes vague or obvious that are peculiar to him or her. In the words of Theodore Roosevelt, “Character, in the long run is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and of nations alike." One of the biggest challenges nations face today; especially African nations, is the lack of character. 

The obvious inconsistency and disharmony between the things we say and do show the obvious paucity of character in the society. There was a time when character mattered; today we focus on wealth irrespective of how it is gotten. And this is not restricted to the elites and politicians alone; the same applies to teachers, civil and public servants, religious leaders etc. The average man on the street is as bereft of character as the man sitting in the office of the governor, minister, chairman, manager, director etc. Do not forget, that they all come from the same society anyway.

It was Booker T. Washington who once said; "Character is power”. Think about that for a moment. We do not often think about this but the standing, confidence, authority and control a good character gives is amazing if you know how to wield it and positively too. “Leadership is a potent combination of strategy and character, but if you must be without one, be without strategy”  - Norman Shwarzkorpf.

I hope you see where the emphasis lies. That is a beautiful summary of our entire discourse I believe.

In my opinion, there are several components or traits that illustrate the character of a leader. For now, I will briefly examine six of them:

1. TRUSTWORTHINESS


Leadership must be trusted and seen to be able to make the best decisions and do the right thing, especially in difficult situations. Trust is achieved by demonstrating competence through strong character. The ability of leadership to maintain confidentiality in their relationship with those they are leading is also very important in developing trust. A trustworthy leader cannot be the one who spills what he has been told in secret. He cannot afford to be the ‘prating fool’. 

The leader must not be the one to also judge people based on what he has heard without confirmation or without finding out the reason at the very least. Trust is earned! You do not demand for it or command it into existence; it is a result of consistent show of stable good attitude and confidentiality. 

Trust is very difficult to build but easy to lose, that is why leaders must be very careful how they treat people. Once a leader’s character is proven untrustworthy, his or her influence and ability to lead is severely diminished.

 2. RELIABILITY


Closely related to trustworthiness is Reliability. It is one thing to trust a leader because he can keep secrets or that he can chart a course of direction for the group, organization or church. It is another thing that he is reliable. A reliable leader is someone to whom whatever is committed to his or her hand is safely kept. He is well founded and grounded in what he is doing. Words such as; unwavering, unswerving, solid, steady, devoted, responsible, fail-safe and honest describe a reliable person.

Leaders cannot afford to be reliable only when it is convenient. The desire for greatness and excellence should drive us towards being reliable at all times, as leaders. Let it be said of you that ‘whatever is committed into your hands, you will keep’ until it is requested. 

My former boss told a story of about a colleague of his who had retired at the time. He said no matter the amount of money you give to the man even in marked notes, you will receive those same notes anytime you request for your money. The man eventually became a mini bank for his colleagues, since it was in the early 90’s when banks were not this common in Warri. We all want that kind of person right? I hope we are that person too.

 3. HONESTY AND TRUTHFULNESS

Being honest with ones-self, others and speaking truth no matter whose ox is gored is sacrosanct to leadership. You do not necessarily have to be *‘brutal’* with being truthful or honest but a leader should be comfortable with himself and herself and should be ready to stand for what he or she believes. 

Being honest and truthful requires courage, because this virtue is a two-edged sword. An honest man very easily makes enemies even though they admire his truth, they often hate his courage.

According to the 14th Dalai Lama “the real source of inner joy is to remain truthful and honest." This still holds and especially for leaders, whenever you are dishonest with yourself, you are disconnected from reality and you will make poor decisions with potentially far reaching effects.

Those in the positions of authority must understand that telling the truth even when it is uncomfortable is better than lying because it feels good or serves a momentary gain. When you face a choice between being polite and honest, err on the side of the truth. It is better to be disliked but respected than to be liked but disrespected. In the long run, the people we trust the most are those who have the courage to be sincere (Adam Grant).

 4. SELF DISCIPLINE AND MORALITY


Self-discipline is the real secret to success in every sphere of life. It is the real delineating factor between the rich and the poor. Every great leader you know or have heard about is a very disciplined person. 

The sacrifices made by men of great resolve while their peers slept can only be done by disciplined hands. To do what is right, even if you do not feel like it; to practice self-control is to balance your own desires with the need of others and the courage also to face the fears, risks and dangers of standing up for what is right should be characteristics of every great leader. 

According to Leonardo da Vinci “You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself…the height of a man’s success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment. And this law is the expression of eternal justice. He who cannot establish dominion over himself will have no dominion over others”.

 5. INTEGRITY


Leaders should be men and women of integrity. People whose words and actions matter to them and are synchronized. The things they say do not differ from what they do; as a matter of fact they do not treat their claims with levity. 

I am not saying leaders should be perfect, because none of us is perfect. And I am not sure many of us will trust anyone claiming to be ‘perfect’ anyway. However, a man who seeks to lead others should stand head over shoulders in the things that matters the most.

Your sense of ethics and morality should not be questionable. How do you provide direction for others when your moral compass has no bearing?

Integrity entails having a clear sense of values that guide your behavior every day. I understand that often times we find ourselves at crossroads in life and we are forced to choose a path. Choose the right path; the one paved with principles that leads to character. A man of integrity practices to align his actions, feelings and thoughts with his values. Try practicing this; it will not bite you I promise.

 6. GENUINE COMPASSION AND EMPATHY

From the foregoing you should have deduced by now that ‘fake’ is not in the character of good leaders. They sincerely care about those who look up to them. They may not be able to take care of everybody’s problem but they are sincere in their sympathy and empathy. 

Genuine concern and care are important for leadership at all levels. On a general note, people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care. Did you get that? Think about it for a moment.

This is one of the reasons why emotionally disconnected geniuses never make good leaders. 

People with high emotional and social quotients even if they have low intelligence quotient, will always make better leaders than those high on intelligence but low on the former two. The simple reason is because good leaders know how to connect with people and can relate to their situations, good or bad.

HERE I GO AGAIN

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