Showing posts with label Trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trust. Show all posts

Tuesday 30 April 2024

HERE I GO AGAIN

 

I FALL ALL OVER AGAIN

By Dan Hill

Can't believe we met like this
Is it just coincidence?
I had a feeling I'd be seeing you again
You're every bit as beautiful
As the last time we met
When you told me you were leaving
And going back to him

How I wish that I could tell you
It's all in the past
But I was never good at lying
And baby since you ask

Chorus

I don't wanna hear that song again
From the night we first met
I don't wanna hear you whispering
Things I'd rather forget
I don't wanna look into your eyes
'Cause you know what happens next
We'll be making love and then
I'll fall all over again

I can't begin to tell you
Just how, sorry I am
That the man you built your dreams around
Just broke your heart again
I think I know the feeling
'Cause I once loved you so much
That I swore I'd rather die
Then live a day without your touch

If I held you in my arms
You'll know I'll never let you go
But this ain't the time or place
To get emotional

Chorus

I don't wanna hear that song again
From the night we first met
I don't wanna hear you whispering
Things I'd rather forget
I don't wanna look into your eyes
'Cause you know what happens next
We'll be making love and then
I'll fall all over again

How you cried when you kissed me
Then you walked out that door, whoa
You were always such a mystery
I still dream we're making love
Then I stop myself because

Chorus

I don't wanna hear that song again
From the night we first met
I don't wanna hear you whispering
Things I'd rather forget
I don't wanna look into your eyes
'Cause you know what happens next
We'll be making love and then
I'll fall all over again

I'll fall all over again

 

I think the words of Dan Hill in the song above are finding expression in my life. Yeah, so I met someone recently and it has been the happiest few weeks of my life. She is the rarest combination of beauty and brain I have come across in a very long time, and boy she's got class and zazz!!! And you know how you are both scared and excited at the same time? Yeah that's how I feel about her. 

You are probably wondering why I have such mixed feelings right? I am tempted to wonder too, but I know the answer.


 I am sure you remember that I have had my share of broken relationships, most of which I was hugely invested, so I guess my anxiety is what you would call occupational hazards abi? It comes with the turf. A child who was told that a rope-like animal killed his father will be afraid of earthworms. In this case, I am the child.

 I am excited on another hand. As a matter of fact I am elated beyond words, and it is difficult to describe the feeling. This is not some high school butterfly feelings in my stomach, there is a sense of calmness and joy that thinking about her gives to me and the desire to protect her. Cut to the chase I am jealous and want her for keeps! Does that make any sense to you? Maybe not but it does to me. So...?


 I am still in awe of how her stories not only mirror mine but fits into my prayers of many years, and I am praying that my hopes are not eventually a mirage. I know the difference between love and lust as I have felt both, this feels like both wrapped in a lifetime commitment. And I love this feeling!!!

Her dreams and aspirations are worth every bit of my encouragement and I am hoping I get to do that for her; she is a jackpot! trust me when I tell you so.


 Well, I cannot tell you her name now but trust me, I am not walking away from this woman. I would give you a hint someday...... but for now, please allow me to hide her face. LOL!



Agebe Olonta Eineje
27th June 2020

THE CHARACTER OF LEADERSHIP

 "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character."   - Martin Luther King, Jr.

To Martin Luther King, Jr. that was a dream at some point in time. To the rest of us however, the judgment of character is an everyday expectation in leadership. The importance of character in leadership cannot be overemphasized; as a matter of fact, there is no leadership without character.

Character forms the crux of the matter and is the real foundation of all worthwhile successes. The leader is nothing without the cardinal description of his personality which ultimately is his character. 

Every action a leader takes is a pointer to his or her character, whether he is aware of this or not. We must understand that while knowledge may give power, it is character that gives respect and loyalty. 

The definition of a man’s character is not hinged on periodic behaviours and goodwill but on the daily patterns of action, words and the retinue of nuances and attributes vague or obvious that are peculiar to him or her. In the words of Theodore Roosevelt, “Character, in the long run is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and of nations alike." One of the biggest challenges nations face today; especially African nations, is the lack of character. 

The obvious inconsistency and disharmony between the things we say and do show the obvious paucity of character in the society. There was a time when character mattered; today we focus on wealth irrespective of how it is gotten. And this is not restricted to the elites and politicians alone; the same applies to teachers, civil and public servants, religious leaders etc. The average man on the street is as bereft of character as the man sitting in the office of the governor, minister, chairman, manager, director etc. Do not forget, that they all come from the same society anyway.

It was Booker T. Washington who once said; "Character is power”. Think about that for a moment. We do not often think about this but the standing, confidence, authority and control a good character gives is amazing if you know how to wield it and positively too. “Leadership is a potent combination of strategy and character, but if you must be without one, be without strategy”  - Norman Shwarzkorpf.

I hope you see where the emphasis lies. That is a beautiful summary of our entire discourse I believe.

In my opinion, there are several components or traits that illustrate the character of a leader. For now, I will briefly examine six of them:

1. TRUSTWORTHINESS


Leadership must be trusted and seen to be able to make the best decisions and do the right thing, especially in difficult situations. Trust is achieved by demonstrating competence through strong character. The ability of leadership to maintain confidentiality in their relationship with those they are leading is also very important in developing trust. A trustworthy leader cannot be the one who spills what he has been told in secret. He cannot afford to be the ‘prating fool’. 

The leader must not be the one to also judge people based on what he has heard without confirmation or without finding out the reason at the very least. Trust is earned! You do not demand for it or command it into existence; it is a result of consistent show of stable good attitude and confidentiality. 

Trust is very difficult to build but easy to lose, that is why leaders must be very careful how they treat people. Once a leader’s character is proven untrustworthy, his or her influence and ability to lead is severely diminished.

 2. RELIABILITY


Closely related to trustworthiness is Reliability. It is one thing to trust a leader because he can keep secrets or that he can chart a course of direction for the group, organization or church. It is another thing that he is reliable. A reliable leader is someone to whom whatever is committed to his or her hand is safely kept. He is well founded and grounded in what he is doing. Words such as; unwavering, unswerving, solid, steady, devoted, responsible, fail-safe and honest describe a reliable person.

Leaders cannot afford to be reliable only when it is convenient. The desire for greatness and excellence should drive us towards being reliable at all times, as leaders. Let it be said of you that ‘whatever is committed into your hands, you will keep’ until it is requested. 

My former boss told a story of about a colleague of his who had retired at the time. He said no matter the amount of money you give to the man even in marked notes, you will receive those same notes anytime you request for your money. The man eventually became a mini bank for his colleagues, since it was in the early 90’s when banks were not this common in Warri. We all want that kind of person right? I hope we are that person too.

 3. HONESTY AND TRUTHFULNESS

Being honest with ones-self, others and speaking truth no matter whose ox is gored is sacrosanct to leadership. You do not necessarily have to be *‘brutal’* with being truthful or honest but a leader should be comfortable with himself and herself and should be ready to stand for what he or she believes. 

Being honest and truthful requires courage, because this virtue is a two-edged sword. An honest man very easily makes enemies even though they admire his truth, they often hate his courage.

According to the 14th Dalai Lama “the real source of inner joy is to remain truthful and honest." This still holds and especially for leaders, whenever you are dishonest with yourself, you are disconnected from reality and you will make poor decisions with potentially far reaching effects.

Those in the positions of authority must understand that telling the truth even when it is uncomfortable is better than lying because it feels good or serves a momentary gain. When you face a choice between being polite and honest, err on the side of the truth. It is better to be disliked but respected than to be liked but disrespected. In the long run, the people we trust the most are those who have the courage to be sincere (Adam Grant).

 4. SELF DISCIPLINE AND MORALITY


Self-discipline is the real secret to success in every sphere of life. It is the real delineating factor between the rich and the poor. Every great leader you know or have heard about is a very disciplined person. 

The sacrifices made by men of great resolve while their peers slept can only be done by disciplined hands. To do what is right, even if you do not feel like it; to practice self-control is to balance your own desires with the need of others and the courage also to face the fears, risks and dangers of standing up for what is right should be characteristics of every great leader. 

According to Leonardo da Vinci “You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself…the height of a man’s success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment. And this law is the expression of eternal justice. He who cannot establish dominion over himself will have no dominion over others”.

 5. INTEGRITY


Leaders should be men and women of integrity. People whose words and actions matter to them and are synchronized. The things they say do not differ from what they do; as a matter of fact they do not treat their claims with levity. 

I am not saying leaders should be perfect, because none of us is perfect. And I am not sure many of us will trust anyone claiming to be ‘perfect’ anyway. However, a man who seeks to lead others should stand head over shoulders in the things that matters the most.

Your sense of ethics and morality should not be questionable. How do you provide direction for others when your moral compass has no bearing?

Integrity entails having a clear sense of values that guide your behavior every day. I understand that often times we find ourselves at crossroads in life and we are forced to choose a path. Choose the right path; the one paved with principles that leads to character. A man of integrity practices to align his actions, feelings and thoughts with his values. Try practicing this; it will not bite you I promise.

 6. GENUINE COMPASSION AND EMPATHY

From the foregoing you should have deduced by now that ‘fake’ is not in the character of good leaders. They sincerely care about those who look up to them. They may not be able to take care of everybody’s problem but they are sincere in their sympathy and empathy. 

Genuine concern and care are important for leadership at all levels. On a general note, people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care. Did you get that? Think about it for a moment.

This is one of the reasons why emotionally disconnected geniuses never make good leaders. 

People with high emotional and social quotients even if they have low intelligence quotient, will always make better leaders than those high on intelligence but low on the former two. The simple reason is because good leaders know how to connect with people and can relate to their situations, good or bad.

Wednesday 27 March 2024

WHO IS THE "SNITCH" AT YOUR WORKPLACE?

 

In every workplace, there's often a person who is commonly referred to as a "snitch." Sometimes, there may even be two or three individuals who seem to have a knack for gathering information and reporting on the activities of their coworkers. You know those colleagues of yours that are good at taking sides with the “oga” even when the boss is wrong, and the wheels are about to fall off? They are also good at writing minority reports to undermine the rest of the team. Sometimes we call them “rat”, or “sabo” (short for saboteur) in local slang. Aha! They are the ones I am referring to.

BUT WHAT DEFINES A "SNITCH"?

These individuals typically portray themselves as outgoing and friendly, making it easy for them to strike up conversations and probe into the personal lives of others. They often ask a multitude of questions, delving into topics like future plans and family matters. However, beneath their friendly façade lies a hidden agenda—they aim to extract sensitive information from their colleagues.

What sets a "snitch" apart is their ability to uncover confidential details and then betray the trust of their coworkers by reporting this information to management or other parties. To safeguard oneself from potential harm, it's crucial to exercise caution when sharing personal information with individuals who exhibit "snitch" behavior or with anyone at all for that matter. Protecting one's privacy can prevent the exploitation of sensitive information.

You also need to understand that a “snitch” does not care about the harm he or she is causing to their subject of target. The multiplier effect of their actions to the emotion, integrity, or career etc. of their target means very little or nothing to them, and they can go any length to achieve their five minutes orgasmic satisfaction from causing pain. The depth of scheming employed is pretty much in the borderline between diabolism and pathology.


The presence of a "snitch" in the workplace can have detrimental effects, leading to an atmosphere of distrust and suspicion among colleagues. Therefore, it's imperative for individual, groups or leaders (in any capacity) to foster an environment where confidentiality and trust are valued, discouraging the prevalence of such behavior. To those who enjoy hearing the dirty secrets of others, remember that “he who tells you about others will one day tell others about you too”.

By recognizing the characteristics and actions associated with a "snitch," individuals can navigate workplace dynamics more effectively, maintaining a sense of trust and confidentiality in their professional interactions.


HERE I GO AGAIN

  I FALL ALL OVER AGAIN By Dan Hill Can't believe we met like this Is it just coincidence? I had a feeling I'd be seeing you again Y...