HERE I GO AGAIN

 

I FALL ALL OVER AGAIN

By Dan Hill

Can't believe we met like this

Is it just coincidence?

I had a feeling I'd be seeing you again

You're every bit as beautiful

As the last time we met

When you told me you were leaving

And going back to him

How I wish that I could tell you

It's all in the past

But I was never good at lying

And baby since you ask

Chorus

I don't wanna hear that song again

From the night we first met

I don't wanna hear you whispering

Things I'd rather forget

I don't wanna look into your eyes

'Cause you know what happens next

We'll be making love and then

I'll fall all over again

I can't begin to tell you

Just how, sorry I am

That the man you built your dreams around

Just broke your heart again

I think I know the feeling

'Cause I once loved you so much

That I swore I'd rather die

Then live a day without your touch

If I held you in my arms

You'll know I'll never let you go

But this ain't the time or place

To get emotional

Chorus

I don't wanna hear that song again

From the night we first met

I don't wanna hear you whispering

Things I'd rather forget

I don't wanna look into your eyes

'Cause you know what happens next

We'll be making love and then

I'll fall all over again

How you cried when you kissed me

Then you walked out that door, whoa

You were always such a mystery

I still dream we're making love

Then I stop myself because

Chorus

I don't wanna hear that song again

From the night we first met

I don't wanna hear you whispering

Things I'd rather forget

I don't wanna look into your eyes

'Cause you know what happens next

We'll be making love and then

I'll fall all over again

I'll fall all over again

 

I think the words of Dan Hill in the song above are finding expression in my life. Yeah, so I met someone recently and it has been the happiest few weeks of my life. She is the rarest combination of beauty and brain I have come across in a very long time, and boy she's got class and zazz!!! And you know how you are both scared and excited at the same time? Yeah that's how I feel about her. 

You are probably wondering why I have such mixed feelings right? I am tempted to wonder too, but I know the answer.

 I am sure you remember that I have had my share of broken relationships, most of which I was hugely invested, so I guess my anxiety is what you would call occupational hazards abi? It comes with the turf. A child who was told that a rope-like animal killed his father will be afraid of earthworms. In this case, I am the child.

 I am excited on another hand. As a matter of fact I am elated beyond words, and it is difficult to describe the feeling. This is not some high school butterfly feelings in my stomach, there is a sense of calmness and joy that thinking about her gives to me and the desire to protect her. Cut to the chase I am jealous and want her for keeps! Does that make any sense to you? Maybe not but it does to me. So...?

 I am still in awe of how her stories not only mirror mine but fits into my prayers of many years, and I am praying that my hopes are not eventually a mirage. I know the difference between love and lust as I have felt both, this feels like both wrapped in a lifetime commitment. And I love this feeling!!!

Her dreams and aspirations are worth every bit of my encouragement and I am hoping I get to do that for her; she is a jackpot! trust me when I tell you so.

 Well, I cannot tell you her name now but trust me, I am not walking away from this woman. I would give you a hint someday...... but for now, please allow me to hide her face. LOL!

Agebe Olonta Eineje

27th June 2020

MY THOUGHTS ON FAILURE

               

Failure is not the worst thing that could happen to a man. Your refusal to get up is worse than the misfortune of falling. 

All men fall and have fallen at some point in life. While some made their beds on the grounds they have stumbled, others made bricks from the earth upon which they had fallen and built mansions for themselves. 

It is difficult to convince a man who has lost hope to believe, it is nonetheless the best thing you can offer him. There is a natural tendency in man to want to preserve himself before anything else, and so we chose the path that is easiest to trod. And this applies to every one of us. Knowing that we are all susceptible to failure, condemning those who have failed will not be the wisest thing to do even if you have not experienced it. 

However, we cannot also celebrate those who have given up on trying just because we are fallible as everyone else. So, while it is good for others to extend hands of help when you are down in the gutters of life, the onus lie on you the most to lift yourself up and out. 

The idea that people must help you as if they owe you does not and will not help you in any way. It is your life we are talking about here. The decision to live or not is yours to make. More over you are the person living the life. If you succeed or fail at it, you will ultimately reap the benefits either way it turns. It was Soichiro Honda (the founder of Honda Automobiles) who said; if you believe you can or cannot, you are right. Think about it. 

Do not get me wrong, we all need a little help from time to time. I have always said; no one is self made. The richest man in the world was helped. Notwithstanding, do not go about demanding that people help you. It is the prerogative of the helper to offer help or not. So do not live your life expecting that any one is under some obligation to help you. As a matter of fact, living without such expectations is less burdensome. You suffer from less anxiety and tendency to hate or to be bitter. 

And if you are in a position to help, please do. We live in a time when people are fast losing faith in humanity. This is largely because of their experiences in the hands of other humans, especially people they have trusted at some point in life. My people would say; the reason a poor man builds his house close to the rich man' is so that the light from the rich man's compound can shine onto his. That is not the case today, because the rich man's fence is so high it blocks out the light. 

The increasing insecurity, heightened corruption, hatred, widening gap between social class etc can be traced to; man's inhumanity to man. It's appalling to even imagine that a man would consider himself better or higher than another simply on the basis of tribe, race or nation. These are not strange occurrences in our present world, we live with and experience it everyday. If we need to change the cataclysmic direction we are headed, we need to calibrate our hearts. 

We will need to learn to stretch out our hands and hearts, to ask and to give. Do not hate those who does not help and do not refuse to help if you can do so. 

I wish you a wonderful July. Have a great day and month. It's past  1am already, yet I can't get sleep. I am resuming morning duty today and I need to get some rest before heading to work in about five hours. 

The good Lord continue to watch over all of us. Remember, help those who need your help if you can.

MUTATION

 

The road ahead is straight,

Passing through 'Brokenhopesville',

In auspiciously strait,

Shadowy deceptions,

No light shines through the roof of pines,

For here, the sun is blind.

Mama said, youth' are days of light,

But mine are blight,

Nights with no endings,

Bleak as it peaks.

In the heat of  the conundrums

Friends like wax melts,

And as fiends pick on my soul,

I wet my bed with tears,

Like an incursion I feel change,

Creeping in on me,

I guess this is what you call 'mutation'

GENTLE REFUSAL

 

Under the willow,

I laid my pillow,

and chose to caress the institution

of marriage,

I chose words with care,

Praying she would dare,

as I laid bare my heart.

With a smile, she nodded her head,

First giving me hope,

but it was hard to cope,

and was no soothing remarks either

as she gently said;

"Sorry I am taken".

3rd June 2007

RUDIMENTS OF LEADERSHIP

My Thoughts on Leadership Part 1

On this series, the goal is to share with you the various lessons I have learnt from serving others either from the rear as a follower or the head of the pack. The goal is to inspire you to become a better leader, or at the very least push you on to becoming one.

The strength of leadership rests very squarely on service. No one can become a good or great leader without the heart of service, and have not served another. Serving others does not only afford you the platform to meet the needs of people, it is a verifiable school and training institute that helps to build and hone skills necessary in leadership.

In my experience, many of the people who came into leadership via the highway of privilege almost always mess things up; this is the definite repercussion of the lack of training. And it is true that you cannot give what you do not have. The unfortunate and erroneous consequence of coming into leadership because of personal or family wealth, educational background, political connections etc. is that such people see it as a position that affords them authority over people and not as an avenue to serve others. Trust me, enlightened leadership is about service, not position.

From the beginning of time, positions of leadership are natural offspring of necessity in a group. Leaders are not elected or selected because it sounds good to do so; they are because there is a need for someone or some people to provide inspiration, education, correction, and direction etc. for the rest of the group. In the many instances where good leadership is sacrificed on the altar of mediocrity it is because this cardinal doctrine is missed. And the downside is that everyone suffers as a result.

Very often you see somewhat successful leaders get caught up in their pride and ego, because they need or want to portray a persona that is not necessary. They want to be seen as intelligent, clever, strong, powerful, as the boss or because they want to take all the glory for everything to themselves. These kinds of leaders will fail in the long run; they are in leadership for the wrong reasons. The motivating factor for them is always SELF. Good leaders do not struggle with others for the spotlight, because the center stage is not the reason they are in positions of authority. Great leaders are luminous; they give light to others to shine. In the place of service they are too busy fashioning out other great leaders than to struggle for a place at the table. As a matter of fact, they are the table in a sense.

A positional and ego driven leader is not huge on people skills, and they are poor listeners. They lack the ability to relate well with people and are very poor in understanding people even though they listen. People like this often listen to respond, not to know or learn. Consequently they are also locking in the ability to empathize. Sympathy is good, but empathy is what is more needed in a leader. The ability to sincerely put yourself in the shoes of others and to experience their pains sets leaders apart and connects people in ways you cannot imagine. There are few things that evoke complete loyalty like empathy.

Look around, do you have leaders who are egoistic and position driven? Then you need to evaluate yourself because you may already be picking up attributes that will do you more harm than good. As a leader, which of these categories of leader are you? If you need to make some changes, please do; a lot of people are looking up to you, probably many more people than you know.

I will stop here for now. Watch out for the other parts of this series. This is an introduction on a series on leadership and I implore you to take this journey with me. I am hoping that we will learn some things together. Kindly leave your comments below and we shall respond to them. Thank you.